Saturday, 29 October 2011


not sure what being canadian means
can't describe the smell of the air as fall cedes to winter
can't put my finger on a canadian sound

rock n' roll is an american art form
little richard and chuck berry
you'd be wrong to call elvis rock n' roll
he was a for a flash
but he didn't write his songs
nor did he perform much rock n' roll later in his career

jazz is also an american art form

maple syrup is a canadian art form
and it costs as much as jazz

rush is canadian
their music sounds more cosmic than hoser
despite them being hosers

bryan adams used to be canadian
but he buggered off to england
and besides
grown ups don't listen to bryan adams

drake is from canada
i have no idea what it is he sings about
it sounds like a bunch of disconnected thoughts
kind of like deep thoughts by jack handy
only with a bad clothes

max webster
they're canadian
but they represent a fringe element
like that kid in the back of science class
who relished slicing into a frog

anne murray is canadian
kill me now

those guys wore the worst clothes and hated each other
that's not canadian

arcade fire?
the main guy - the tall one with the hitler youth look
he's from texas

joni mitchell is canadian
and she's a good ambassador of what canada sounds like
providing you've run away from home and spent some time in a cult

leonard cohen is a fine canadian
and his music has more of a suicidal sound
for leonard to faithfully represent canada
we'd need to turn into a nation of brooders
and pontificate at length on such sacred topics as fruit and room service

gordon lightfoot sounds like canada to me
i pick him
even his name is canadian
everyone should know a gord at some point in their life
seek out gord's gold
it's a great retrospective and a perfect canadian album
i keep seeing gord around town
i rode in an elevator with him once
but i had nothing to say
because i'm canadian too
and like the english
we like to talk about the weather
and the weather in the elevator was fairly blah
so it was best to just keep my mouth shut
very canadian

there's dozens of canadian war stories
that tout the heraldry of canadian soldiers
and while this is a music blog
i do want to take a moment to let our american friends know that
because i see the young faces of these men and women
mostly in airports
and i want to give them a neil young album
and tell them thanks for your service

and speaking of neil young
isn't he the greatest canadian
a true hoser
never once bowing to trends or fashion
never compromising
and like all good canadians
he dreamed of success in the states
and went off to find it
i can relate to that!
neil sounds like canada
his voice is as unique as a loon
and his guitar playing is reflective of our weather
both with calm and fury
and neil has no problems calling you out
if you've done something wrong
you hock your songs for commercials?
neil's there to stick your money up your ass
you take up arms and wrongfully shoot a protester?
neil will immortalize your folly in song and forever become your conscience
and i don't think neil sees a border between america and canada
and i like that
because neither do
i pick neil to most faithfully represent the sound of canada
if you doubt me
then buy tickets to our last waltz show at massey hall
and i'll prove your wrong there

october 29, 2011
coors light (i bought it for rick vatour and it tastes like piss)

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Let it Bleed

what a mess
we were supposed to be playing let it be this saturday in port hope
but instead we signed on for let it bleed
a mess
we have the let it be show all shiny and cemented
and the let it bleed show is a rag tag collective of old friends
with yours truly in the bullseye

we're having a blast getting the album together
any chance to stand in front of doug inglis
and beside des pup and mark's guitar onslaught is a truly joyous occasion
and i love the stones
let it bleed is a perfect album
i put monkey man on for my boys today
and they were freaked out
they connected

we've had some cats play with us in the past
who just can't play the stones
sure they got it charted out and understand where all the notes go
but you gotta have done hard time for either drug possession or murder
in order to properly play the stones
luckily we've all been arrested several times for a series of crimes
des' offences were mostly due to overdue library books
and doug inglis once shot a man in boise
just to watch him dance
i've escaped from maximum security prisons so many times i've lost count
this kind of bravado makes us all perfect for the let it bleed album

the stones themselves are imploding
there's been a lot of bad blood running through their party lines
i've said it before
they need to hire me
i'd whip them into shape
tell them to stop leaping about
stop pandering to a crowd that's seen it all before
just sit on a couple stools
and give me a knees weak version of love in vain
dig deep and connect us
we all know you're flashy peacocks
and always will be
but your souls are in the mississippi mud

i doubt we'll ever get the performance from them that we need
if they do decide to tour
it'll be big and flashy and there will be lots of leaping about
underneath a canopy of electronic steroids
and we'll hear all the hits
the same ones they've been hawking since they founded rock n' roll

which is fine

but if you need a reminder of how great the stones were
then you need to see our show in port hope ontario this saturday
we carry the torch and bleed it all over you
we'll give you the knees weak version of love in vain
or the madness of a monkey
the honk of some country
we'll give you what you want
we'll give you shelter

october 17, 2011

Wednesday, 12 October 2011


the shot of him on the gurney in the hospital
that shook me

fuckin' drug addicts
america's two biggest icons
elvis and mj
both died as drug addicts
how do you come to make sense of something like that?
the only logic that seems to rattle
is that living a sense of entitlement
will ultimately lead to a pathetic conclusion

they should have stayed performing
on stage where they belong
that's where the heart is
under the lights
look at elton
and a ton of the old rock school
still on the road
still getting learned
the time off should only be used to prep for another tour
i'm not saying a continuous run of years of dates after dates
but a healthy work ethic coupled with live interaction
that's the secret
you wanna dance?
that's the path to sustainability
without it
you alone
surrounded by a round of hired guns
all paid to continually blow sunshine up your wazzo
reality becomes a shrinking balloon

when we first tackled the thriller album
i had it on the car
immediately my boys reacted
who's this?
and the little one repeated his name like it was in direct relation to santa claus
we played it for the neighbours kids
they reacted immediately as well
and soon enough we were having poolside michael jackson dance parties
with all the kids
that's cause and effect

i beam into the ongoing trial from time to time
i could really care less
he's gone
everyone's accountable
you pander that much and fear overtakes common sense
you get to a point in your life where sticking a needle in your arm becomes routine
then it's tick tock my friend
you don't stop till you get enough
and there's a bad moon on the rise

last night we started re rehearsing thriller
the band was perfect from the drop
the groove was so big you could camp in it
and it was fun
fun music
remember that?
mj knew how to put a song together
him and q were the masters of pop
thriller thrills
it's a perfect record
and that's why it sold more than anything else

the king is dead
long live the king
whoever that may be
i wouldn't wish it on anyone

october 12, 2011
tea and milk chocolate

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Willie Nelson for President

i'd vote for him
so would bob dylan
and that's good enough for me

ol' willy just seems like the type of guy to get things done
problem at the UN?
he'd phone Kris
Kris would say 'what would johnny do?'
and it'd all be taken care of

willie's also got some unique first hand experience with taxes
chances are he'd know exactly how much people can afford to pay
the irs came at him hard and yet he's still standing
still riding in a nice bus
still eating well
still likes to walk on the grass
who better to explain america's tax laws to the public?

he'd be good at raising money
broken bridge in pittsburgh?
'get the bus boys - we're doing a charity show in pittsburgh'
farmer's crops wiped out in boise?
'get john mellancamp on the phone!'
he'd have things fixed up right away
communities would come together
and stuff would get done

he'd weed his way through some of the more archaic laws
again - he's had first hand experience with law enforcement
and police have had hands on experience with him
i can't think of a better way to gain insight with regard to law enforcement

and think of all those tiny fires he's lit his entire life
hand held fires
surely that's got to count for something when dealing with firefighters

and healthcare?
he's old now - no disrespect
he's in great health
he could probably put together a guideline
that details how to get old - live healthy - have fun - and make a little money in the process!
my kind of guy!

the last time i saw willie perform was at the mohegan sun
we were sitting kind of side stage
and could see backstage
with everyone mulling around and tuning up and stuff
the announcer comes out and introduces him
the crowd starts to cheer
and we cheer for a few minutes
but no willie
finally he and his band make their way to the stage
but do they launch into a song?
willie just goes back and forth on the stage waving to people
and we're all so glad to see him
that we're cheering even louder now
it was presidential

i put a call into willie's head office
said that i'd love to help handle his campaign
they told me it all sounded good
but they had no idea where he was
it turns out that somebody shot out the gps system on his bus
and willie's just cruising around america
going from town to town
playing music with his friends

that's the kind of guy i'd vote for

october 5, 2011
coca cola and dark chocolate

Monday, 3 October 2011


not sure what's going to happen with new artists
i'm pretty sure that if you set out to get rich you're going to fail
i think it's more about being driven
needing to do something

my friends and CAL alumni have a prog band called druckfarben
they made a cd
this is ancient thinking
but prog in an ancient art form
started by the druids i think
they pooled their money and made a cd

prog is complicated involved sometimes maddening music
i'm a rocker
i like it four on the four
at heart i'm a folkie
so making the leap to prog involves new shoes and new ears

so i laced up and i think we have a winner
the music is full of chops and riffs
and the production is clean and crisp

druckfarben sounds like nothing else out there today
so what compels these middle aged men
to get together and make music like this?
there's no big answer
it's what they do
it's like going to hockey practice
or having a stamp collection
it's for the enjoyment
and for them
it just needs to be done
and the boys in druckfarben got it right

in listening i'm astounded at how much work went into the disc
we're talking lots of hours
some of them have kids
i don't know where they found the time
the results are stellar

i think it's admirable that they do a prog jam
and people come and play
musicians who have no other venue to play prog music at
druckfarben affords them an audience and gear
it makes me want to run for public office and issue them tax credits

making a cd makes no sense to me
it's a sinking ship with all the money getting wet and too slippery to hang onto
i would have put the dough into touring
but they have a plan
and i support them whole heartedly
they'll always have this record to be proud of
that's a currency onto itself

go to their site
and support them

it's an honour to work alongside them in CAL

october 4, 2011
beer and olives