Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Undercover Boss (apologies to the CAL alumni)

it was undercover boss month
i loved it
i got to play guitar with the CAL CCR band
and at the end of the run
a lot of things came to light

first off
it's a lot of work
there's no free rides
we don't have roadies
we set up and tear down our own gear
and we don't have guitar techs
we move fast and efficiently
it's a true team effort
you've got your job
you've got to keep your perimeter tight
no stray chords or shorting jacks
no contamination from outside sources

i've always loved the guitar players perimeter on stage
dom's always got new bits and pieces of gear
clifton's perimeter is the shiniest
and whatever you do
don't step on bobby's chords

as my perimeter evolved
i was more and more watchful as to who got to cross it
during the show
marty would arm himself with a cowbell
and cross over
then mike would drift by
leaving trace amounts of cologne behind

i started to become the musician that i yelled at the most
it's a coveted spot
and it taught me a lot
so here are my three apologies to the alumni

the monitor issue
i apologize to all of the alumni for hurrying them through sound check
sometimes we're pressed for time
especially when there's chips backstage
i wanted everything in my monitor
if there was a stage guy eating a bag of chips
i wanted that in my monitor
and good for mike for not settling
marty - as you would think - is pretty easy going
but mike
he wants it 'just so'
and i respect that now
i apologize for hurrying everyone along

the tuning issue
i hate david love
him and his tuning
then he starts playing
and you forget that you hate him
i tuned the most on the tour
i wanted the pretty lights on my tuner lighting up and aligning
i wanted them all night
they were always there for me
validating me
i apologize for my tuning addiction
me and donnie are both in treatment together

johnny b
i had no idea
i'd heard stories
many of which i started
there's a video on our FB page
it says it all
i apologize

supposedly pride is one of the seven deadly sins
my one question for the dali lama would be
is pride really so bad?
because i'm so proud of the way we travel together
and take care of each other

on a side note
i've been getting these really cool emails and messages
from people who've been to dozens of shows
nancy's up to 100 - wow!
i think we need a commemorative shirt for 50
and a special one for nancy

it's hard to sell tickets
it takes a lot of work
people are picky
and smart
we remain comfort food
in a market of fireworks
CAL endures

march 4, 2015
yogurt and walnuts