in dreams

 i’ve been polling the musicians

it turns out we all have variations of the same dream

all centered around a CAL gig

and all of the dreams are chaotic

my dream involves never being able to make to the stage

and if by chance i get there

i’m not prepared

or the gear is not working

or it’s a band of strangers

and everything is impossible

versions of this dream 

with all the other musicians is rampant

and i think that speaks to commitment 

we’re obsessed with getting things right

so much so that often - our worst nightmares manifest in dreams

and they’re the opposite of what’s expected

of course there’s a part of me that thinks 

this warrants a case study

that we should all check into a dream institution

and wire in together 

and create our own matrix

here we help each other through the 

subliminal quagmire of disrepair

you can also find hints of this self unrelience 

in our post show backstage discussions

we’re quick to hone in on the one bad note or missed cue

rather than the overall glory of a joyous performance

this also speaks to professionalism

we’re incredibly accountable to ourselves

this is a good thing

in the new year 

i’m going to be recruiting for new members

young musicians who want to do the hard work

and strive 

for a professional future as a full time player

i’m going to analyze their dreams 

once they’re plugged in

if they don’t have chaotic stress filled dreams 

about gigs going wrong

i’m going to wonder if they have what it takes

to go the distance

so here’s to the subconscious

and all of it’s unknown motivational ways

craig

nov. 28, 2022

(coffee and cookies)