Forward

despite entropy

and being safely ensconced in my 60s

i still haven’t figured it out

the big meaning of it all

i think it’s about 

overcoming adversity

people talk about happiness

striving for it

i think that’s a fools game

i believe that happiness is accidental

it arrives unplanned and often inconvenient

whereas contentment is achievable

but you know

life has a way of making sure you see 

both sides of the coin

certainly 

believing in any kind of politcal dogma

is a path to displeasure

politicians are all bunch of blowbags

trying to scratch out four more years

so 

i’ve cut bait on all of them

and went libertarian 

i have zero faith in politics

no more divison for me

i am on my own path

not sure why i’m deeply reflective today

i retreat to my piano

another rung on the self discovery stepladder

i’m doing pretty well with it

but i woke up asking myself

what’s next?

i just released an album

i paint daily

and i run my business with an eagles eye

so what next?

roslyn has been asking me this exact question

she gets it

i’m unsettled

we powerwashed the decks

and that kept my mind busy

she sees it 

i need tasks

and of course deep down it’s because

i’m running from the pain of losing a son

i’m still married to susan

we never divorced

30 years this august

i see no sense in including any government 

in any of my personal decisions

our suffering is mirrored in each other

those memories of the loss stick 

and tarp over everything

she retreats

i push

for the most part we let each other be

there’s no point in constantly confirming 

each others pain

this is not depression

i still regularily find joy

and 

contentment

and rose loves me strong and true

but that fucking coin flips

you finish one thing 

feel good

and then the spinning wheel spins

and it’s not just me

there’s a collective dialogue going on

my house has become somewhat of a haven

people visit frequently

we have tea

and chat

not about netflix or home decor or other people

but about life

and meaning

and purpose

it’s taken decades

but i have finally become a good listener

in some ways

i consider that a defining achievement

craig

may 20 2026

coffee

.