Saturday, 29 October 2011


not sure what being canadian means
can't describe the smell of the air as fall cedes to winter
can't put my finger on a canadian sound

rock n' roll is an american art form
little richard and chuck berry
you'd be wrong to call elvis rock n' roll
he was a for a flash
but he didn't write his songs
nor did he perform much rock n' roll later in his career

jazz is also an american art form

maple syrup is a canadian art form
and it costs as much as jazz

rush is canadian
their music sounds more cosmic than hoser
despite them being hosers

bryan adams used to be canadian
but he buggered off to england
and besides
grown ups don't listen to bryan adams

drake is from canada
i have no idea what it is he sings about
it sounds like a bunch of disconnected thoughts
kind of like deep thoughts by jack handy
only with a bad clothes

max webster
they're canadian
but they represent a fringe element
like that kid in the back of science class
who relished slicing into a frog

anne murray is canadian
kill me now

those guys wore the worst clothes and hated each other
that's not canadian

arcade fire?
the main guy - the tall one with the hitler youth look
he's from texas

joni mitchell is canadian
and she's a good ambassador of what canada sounds like
providing you've run away from home and spent some time in a cult

leonard cohen is a fine canadian
and his music has more of a suicidal sound
for leonard to faithfully represent canada
we'd need to turn into a nation of brooders
and pontificate at length on such sacred topics as fruit and room service

gordon lightfoot sounds like canada to me
i pick him
even his name is canadian
everyone should know a gord at some point in their life
seek out gord's gold
it's a great retrospective and a perfect canadian album
i keep seeing gord around town
i rode in an elevator with him once
but i had nothing to say
because i'm canadian too
and like the english
we like to talk about the weather
and the weather in the elevator was fairly blah
so it was best to just keep my mouth shut
very canadian

there's dozens of canadian war stories
that tout the heraldry of canadian soldiers
and while this is a music blog
i do want to take a moment to let our american friends know that
because i see the young faces of these men and women
mostly in airports
and i want to give them a neil young album
and tell them thanks for your service

and speaking of neil young
isn't he the greatest canadian
a true hoser
never once bowing to trends or fashion
never compromising
and like all good canadians
he dreamed of success in the states
and went off to find it
i can relate to that!
neil sounds like canada
his voice is as unique as a loon
and his guitar playing is reflective of our weather
both with calm and fury
and neil has no problems calling you out
if you've done something wrong
you hock your songs for commercials?
neil's there to stick your money up your ass
you take up arms and wrongfully shoot a protester?
neil will immortalize your folly in song and forever become your conscience
and i don't think neil sees a border between america and canada
and i like that
because neither do
i pick neil to most faithfully represent the sound of canada
if you doubt me
then buy tickets to our last waltz show at massey hall
and i'll prove your wrong there

october 29, 2011
coors light (i bought it for rick vatour and it tastes like piss)

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